To ask, or not to ask

I have often wondered when I would write my first piece in this forum. My interests are diverse, and my opinions are strong if held only very loosely, but alas whenever I am near to finally making my mark I am chagrined to think how poorly organized are my thoughts, how well informed is my experience, how circumspect is my perspective?

While I realize paralysis by analysis is all too common in our day and age, I can not help but think that far too many of us do not analyze our own thoughts or perhaps even more importantly, our way of thinking, with any real regularity. The prompting of this is no doubt the same as those of the millions which have come before, in that I was finally so fed up with my experiences with the large majority of the online community who insists on the correctness and the obviousness, and most of all the utter unassailability of their various assertions.

So, now to my point, to ask or not to ask?

Have you ever strode into some experience, specifically a text based encounter where your general ideas or simply your tone were drastically misinterpreted and therefore led to an undesirable encounter? I assume most of us who are literate and who have an internet connection, have. Now, think back, did that confrontation come about because someone asked a question, or was there some assertion made or implied? Perhaps even indirectly, a classic passive aggressive response for example, would still be put into this category since it is demonstrably making its own assertion even if it is presented formally as interrogative.

Ok, now that we’ve all remembered our most recent unpleasant and likely unnecessary debacle, let’s think to some pleasant experience we had with a stranger who had no reason whatsoever to give us the benefit of the doubt. Someone asks something, the other person is equally uncertain so they offer their help, but they also add in a question of their own. Regardless of the topic, this second interaction was inevitably more pleasant, no? And if it was not, please tell me why I’m wrong in the comments (and remind me why I’ve always been to scared to present my own thoughts on whatever randomness took up residence betwixt my ears for the day!)

So now, having remembered both of those occasions, I think it is fairly easy to tell that when you step quietly into a room and take the temperature before you starting dancing, or drinking, or setting off firecrackers you are invariably setting both yourself and those who interact with you up for a far more positive experience whatever the setting may be.

So the next time you have an idea, even if it’s fringy, abrasive, or even downright politically incorrect or perhaps morally repugnant, before you climb up on your stump and make those proclamations, channel your inner JFK and ask not what you can tell your countrymen, but what can you learn from them by simply asking more and/or better questions?

And lastly, because I just can’t resist the oxymoronic feel of my first article involving both paraphrased JFK, and a witticism from a comedian who has fallen from grace for better or for worse, you should hear these words echo whenever you wish to make a stand,

“it’s not that you’re wrong…it’s the F*ng arrogance.”

Thanks for reading, take it easy on me, or crucify me for my lack of citations and accreditations, but remember if you just yell at me my work it probably won’t get better. BUT, if you ask me if I thought of x y or z as I assembled my thoughts, now that might be helpful!